Message for You Today

This was SO good, I just had to post it today for you!

Galatians 5:22-24 (The Message)

But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.

How Sweet the Sound

Amazing grace! (how sweet the sound)
That sav'd a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
-John Newton

Sunday morning, I was in my garage shivering in front of a kerosene heater with my husband. He had found an old CD while cleaning in there, and it had many hymns on it, one of which was "Amazing Grace." As I sat and listened to a beautiful rendition of this classic song, I began to weep. The tears just came as I felt the Spirit of God surround me with His love and His beauty. As I silently sang the words through my trembling lips, I realized that I was truly experiencing this "amazing grace" for the first time in a long, long time. What I mean is that I was experiencing Him afresh and anew in a way that I had when I first gave my heart to Him.

Back then when I was single and just coming out of my "waywardness," coming out of the darkness. I was so utterly free in the Lord. I was totally abandoned to Him and bold in Him. All I knew was that I was forgiven, that I was loved, that I was transferred from darkness to light, and it was all His doing, none of my own. I knew that I knew that I knew that He touched me and made me whole, as the song goes.

Oh, how subtle it is when the years begin to take away that childlike freedom. Disappointments, trials, betrayals, hurts all come and the enemy tries his best to put us back into bondage, back under a yoke of slavery. Oh, we don't realize it. We think we are "serving" the Lord, and then one day we look up, and we think that we somehow "deserve" all the blessings that we have. We become inundated with the message that the more we "do," the more we "serve," the more we pray, or worship, or read our Word, that the more we will attain, and the more self-righteous we become. It happens, friend, and sometimes, no, often, this idea is perpetuated sadly by the "church."

I am ashamed to say that at one point, although I loved this song and knew with my "mind" that it was true, that it was foundational, that it was important, I almost couldn't stand to hear people sing it. I remember thinking, "Yeah, yeah, grace. That's a cop-out for people who don't want to seek or pursue God. They just want to live any old way and then talk about grace. It's just a crutch to get them off the hook of having to be His true follower, His true disciple." Oh, this is so sad, my friends. This breaks my heart now to think that I ever could have had this mentality even for a moment. It's so wrong, my friends. It's so judgmental and critical, and I never want to be that way again, so help me, my Lord.

So, the Lord is good. His Spirit leads us into all truth. And when we wander from that truth, He brings us back again in His loving-kindness. This I know for sure, that my righteousness is a filthy rag and that all the good things anyone may see in my life come directly from Jesus flowing through me. It is none of me. He is the reason for it all. And all I can do is thank Him and praise Him and stay at His feet continually. My, my, what a sweet sound grace truly is.

Growing in Grace

“A state of mind that sees God in everything is evidence of growth in grace and a thankful heart.” -Charles G. Finney (1792-1875)

Seeing God in everything...

Do you see God in everything? How about seeing Him in the "poop" and mess ups of life? I've had experiences lately where I have quite literally seen God "shine" and "sparkle" in some pretty nasty poop. But I tell you, He was in it, and it just brightened me and lightened me, and caused joy to bubble up and well up in me.

I am seeing Him everywhere, literally speaking. His absolute presence is surrounding me at all times as I go throughout my day. I am walking the dog on my same little dead-end street...and He is with me. I am huffing and puffing on the stair-climber at the Y, and He is with me. I am sitting on my comfy couch listening to my husband snore, and He is with me. I am feeling sad over the hurt and betrayal of those I thought were friends, and I see Him. He is with me.

I am seeing the grace of God in all areas of my life, and I am like a sleeping young cub opening its eyes for the first time after a long winter's hibernation. I am tasting God's sweet grace like a delicious delicacy melting in my mouth. My eyes are fountains of living water flowing out as I ponder and meditate on His unconditional acceptance and fondness for me and for all His hands have fashioned in perfect love.

By His grace, I am growing in grace. By His love, I am growing in love. I am growing in thankfulness because of this, too.

Father, I pray we begin to truly see you in all things, in everything. May your people know your divine grace and cherish it for the treasure it truly is. May they experience you even in the poop of life, in the dark times, and know that your plans for them are good because you are good. Show us your glory each and every day, Father, in your Son Jesus. Amen.

Spiritual Abuse II

Today's post is a continuation of the list of areas in which victims of spiritual abuse may stuggle (from The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse).

Johnson/VanVonderen write:

6. You may be preoccupied with spiritual performance.

Preoccupation with spiritual performance often results in a tendency toward extremes of self-righteousness or shame. Self-righteousness (a sense of spiritual superiority based on your own behavior) and judgmentalism (a sense of spiritual superiority based upon someone else's behavior) indicate a performance-based lifestyle. Another indicator is perfectionism, or a need for situations and relationships to be "just so."

Shame, the flip-side of self-righteousness, is also a result of a performance-based mentality. Shame is a sense of inferiority, a negative self-assessment, and indictment on your very personhood. It results from experiencing relationships where love and acceptance are based upon behaviors, and where the constant message is that you don't measure up.

7. You have a distorted self-identity of yourself as a Christian.

People who have been spiritually abused tend to have a negative picture of self, or a shame-based identity. This can be seen in several ways:

a. Lack of understanding or even awareness of New Testament texts that elaborate on our identity as new creations in Christ.

b. Confusion between guilt and shame. Guilt is a valuable signal indicating a wrong or bad behavior. Shame is an indictment on you as a person. You experience guilt when you do a wrong behavior; guilt is a good spiritual nerve ending causing you to right wrong behavior. you feel shame even when you've done nothing wrong; you feel defective as a human being, and like a third-rate Christian undeserving of God's blessings and acceptance.

c. A high need to hang on to negative picture of self in order to explain negative behaviors. This is true of spiritual systems that teach or insinuate that even though you are saved, you're still "worthless" before God, "just a sinner saved by grace," "a worm and not a person."

8. You may have a problem relating to spiritual authority.

Being spiritually abused can lead to "toxic faith." Toxic faith is a destructive and dangerous relationship with a religious system, not with God, that allows this system to control a person's life in the name of God. Those who have experienced the misuse of power develop ways to defend themselves from being abused again. They tend to extremes of compliance or defiance when faced with someone having authority. The compliant will conform to the wishes of the one in authority, going along with the authority whether or not they agree, and whether or not the authority is right. The defiant may resist those who have power even if they agree on the inside. Their resistance is almost a kneejerk reaction to anyone in charge. This, too, is designed to prevent hurt -- but it won't work.

9. You may have a hard time admitting the abuse.

This is common among spiritual abuse victims for several reasons. In an abusive system, you are told that you are "the problem" for noticing that there is a problem. That makes it hard to expose the abuse, even after you've left the system.

Second, admitting the abuse out loud -- or even thinking that what you experienced was abuse -- often feels like you're being disloyal to family, to church, even to God. Third, those who have experienced spiritual abuse as "normal" have lost track of what normal really is. Therefore, to call it spiritual abuse feels crazy or overreactive. People who experience spiritual abuse often can't believe it is happening to them.

10. You may have a hard time with trust.

Those who have been spiritually abused will have a hard time trusting a spiritual system again. This is extremely significant, because the essence of living as a Christian is a trust relationship with God, within God's family.

It seems hard to believe that Christians, who have answered Jesus' invitation to life and freedom, could so quickly return to a treadmill kind of spirituality that produces soul-deadening weariness.

Abused Christians

Today's message is again taken from The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff VonVonderen. I know in my spirit today that there are many Christians who have been or are currently under abusive infuences either within their own families or within the church context. I have a special burden to shine some light on this issue by sharing from this book today. I pray that this will help you if you find yourself in this situation, or it will serve as a warning for you to never fall into this type of setting.

Johnson/VonVonderen write:

How would you picture a Christian who is growing in godliness? Would they convey restfulness, which comes from being comfortable and at peace with God? Would they convey a sense of fulfillment knowing that whatever spiritual work they were doing was in God's will, instead of feeling they had to keep striving for more perfection?

Would their advice be directing you to Jesus, or would it cause you to focus on yourself and your behaviors? And, ultimately, would this Christian bring with them a sense of life, which Paul describes as the "sweet fragrance of Jesus Christ" (2 Cor. 2:15 Amp)?

What follows are the ten most common areas of struggle for those who have been spiritually abused. (Tina's note: I am going to include the first 5 in this post.)

1. You develop a distorted image of God.

Here are some distortions people frequently have:

a. A God who is never satisfied, who keeps setting higher and higher goals and is eager to let you find out how much you have missed the mark.
b. A mean, vindictive God, who is waiting for us to make a mistake.
c. An apathetic God who watches when people are hurt and abused, but does nothing to help because it would mean having to challenge an authority figure or structure.
d. A God who is asleep, and doesn't even notice when people are hurt and abused.
e. The "utterly holy" God. He is like a spiritual burglar alarm, ready to go off anytime you think about sin.

2. You may have a hard time with grace.

The idea of being treated gracefully (treated to a fullness of grace) causes you great difficulty. This springs from the shame-based identity, which tells you that you don't deserve to be treated this way.

For Christians who have been taught an unbalanced idea about the way holiness comes into a believer's life, there will be an automatic rejection of living under grace -- really drawing upon grace daily -- as nothing more than "cheap grace," sensing that others are lazy, or are taking advantage of God, or are getting off the hook too easily. If you have to work, others should as well.

3. You may have a problem in the area of personal boundaries, an unclear understanding about "death to self" teachings and "rights."

People who misused their spiritual power have disrespected or beaten down your boundaries. They have shamed you out of your "no" or clouded your will and intruded into your life with religious agendas. They have violated our spirituality by playing "Holy Spirit." Having an opinion has come to equal lack of submissiveness. Have a right not to be abused is selfish.

4. You may have difficulty with personal responsibility.

If you've been spiritually abused, you may tend to the extreme of being under-responsible in your relationship with God and others. This simply means that you have realized that no amount of performance results in the promised prize of love, acceptance and rest. Therefore you either decide to give up, or you expend the least amount of energy possible in order to just get by.

On the other hand, you may have learned to be overresponsible, a burden bearer. Everyone's issues are yours to solve. Their heavy feelings are yours to fix. You have an impossible time saying no to people's needs and requests. After all, if you don't do it, who will? You have a greater sense of God needing you than of you needing God.

The most extreme form of overresponsibilty happens when you martyr yourself. You believe that having needs or opinions is selfish. Being affected by insults and thoughtless actions is immature, and having any feelings is oversensitive. Going without is a prime virtue. Feeling numb to life is the end result.

5. You may suffer from a lack of living skills.

Abusive systems develop a "bunker mentality." This is characterized by being closed and paranoid toward the outside, and secretive about what goes on inside. The mentality is not only separatist, but highly judgmental. With this mentality, many Christians may think only one or two colleges are "separate enough" from the world for students to be able to safely attend.

Spiritually abusive systems like this can produce a lot of college-educated common laborers. Let me quickly clarify. First, there is no disgrace in being a laborer. A laborer who depends on Jesus will do as much damage to the gates of hell as a minister who depends on Jesus. The disgrace is in promising people the benefits of a college degree, then giving them a second-rate education and charging them as if it were first-rate.

Second, there are many people educated in religious settings who have a first-rate education. There is nothing inherently wrong with home-schooling your kids or sending them to private Christian elementary, secondary or post-graduate schools. In fact, the concept of a first-rate education that includes the component of building people in their faith is wonderful.

The danger is in educating people in religious settings as a result of a "bunker mentality." People who think this way act as if contact with evil things present in "the world" are the reason people have problems. The solution, therefore, is finding ways to keep people isolated from contact with the world. This is naive at best, and, more probably, dangerous.

Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse

I want to recommend a very important book to you today. This is a book that I truly believe every Christian should read, EVERY Christian. This book, skillfully written by a pastor and a Christian counselor is truly eye-opening, uncovering so many crucial factors of what is termed "spiritual abuse." When we are stuck in abusive, legalistic systems of spiritual abuse, whether it is in a family or a church, we become so desensitized to the internal promptings of the Holy Spirit that we can fall into a delusion. So much of Christianity is under a "performance-based system" instead of a "grace-based" one, and this should not be.

The book I am strongly urging each of you to read is The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen. Below is an excerpt from the book which will give you an idea whether you are currently or ever have been a part of a "shame-based" or spiritually abusive system.

In order for us to begin to truly experience the healing grace of God in our lives and to begin functioning from a grace-based perspective, I am learning that it is crucial that we understand the signs of an abusive one.

Johnson/VonVonderen write:

If you have come from shame-based relationships in which you were spiritually abused, you may hold to these or other unspoken rules:

God rewards spirituality with material goods.
"If I am spiritual enough, things won't affect me emotionally."
"I can never say no to those in religious authority."
Everyone in the ministry is called by God, is appropriate, and must be trusted.
"God needs me to do ministry."
"The existence of trouble in my life indicates a lack of faith."
"Talking about problems will make God 'look bad.' "
Unity means agreeing about everything.

As you can see, shamed-based relationships have significant effects upon those who have experienced them. The relational applications of these effects are far-reaching. As pertaining to spiritual systems, the application is clear: Shame-based relationships build on an emotional foundation that undermines relational honesty; hinders a maturing individual relationship with God; and fosters dependence upon another, who grows in power as a false leader, building an unhealthy system in which appearance is more important than reality. These systems victimize people and set them up to be trapped in future abusive relationships.

All Ye

Here is a song that will bring you a delicious slice of the Lord's grace today. I love this song. It really blessed me this morning, and I pray you will take a moment to receive the truth in this song. The Lord just wants us to rest and abide in Him. That is His desire for us. I speak abundant grace to you today, no matter who you are or what you have done or anything else. You are loved.